Ceremony Elements

Through the ages, making a commitment has been of the heart. Pledging undying love and commitment to one another, in partnership. In some places as simple as saying "I marry you" three times over, once upon a time, today the idea of the commitment is much more complicated than it was 100 years ago. Today there are legalities to consider and while we would like to think that one day same sex marriages will see the same rights as heterosexual unions, very few places in the world legally recognize the union. However, if you have decided to make the commitment in ceremony and spirit, knowing what the elements of the ceremony should be is crucial to the whole commitment experience. So while you may not end up with a legal document, the ceremony is binding and you and your partner will want to make it personal. To help you and your partner plan the perfect event we have compiled the the elements of a commitment ceremony include the following:

Processional: While not everyone is comfortable with the idea of a processional, and meeting at the altar, the processional establishes the wedding is about to begin. The music is a reflection of the two of you, and sets the mood for your bridal party and one or both of you will walk up the aisle to the altar or chuppah to meet one another.

The Officiate Welcome: The wedding officient advises the guests in opening greeting, that they are there and present to support the commitment and love between the two of you. Your officent may speak of the two of you, and speak of the love and bond and relationship between you.

Vows: Vows are a declaration of your commitment to one another. While some choose to write their own, others take a more traditional approach. The idea of writing your own establishes an intimacy and lends personalization to the ceremony, further, they honor the uniqueness of your relationship. Using the elements of traditional, religious, or secular vows, adapting phrases and words from poems, songs,or prose, or simply creating your own from scratch to express your feelings in your own words, it is this exchange that defines the terms of the promises to one another in life commitment.

Exchanging Rings: Wedding bands or rings are traditionally exchanged, to pledge and betroth the couple with a symbol. The band is circular, symbolizing eternity, never ending, and often they match. them. According to a columnist for The Knot, Many gay couples wear commitment rings on their right hands as opposed to the more traditional way of wearing them on the left. The right hand is the traditional hand for vows or oaths. It is raised when such an oath is given, so the wedding ring would here show the sincerety of the oath. A traditional reason to wear the wedding ring on the right hand stems from Roman custom and biblical references. The Latin word for left is "sinister", which in addition to this sense also has the same senses as the English word. The Latin word for right is "dexter", a word that evolved into "dexterity". Hence, the left hand had a negative connotation and the right a good one. For the same reason, an oath is sworn while raising the right hand. The left hand is also used for cultures that believe in the vena amoris or "vein of love" that is believed to be found in the left ring finger.(wikipedia). It is during the xchange of rings that the officient might expound on the symbolism of the rings and the meaning to you as a couple to wear them.

Readings/Joining Rituals: Many cultures have "joining rituals" they are symbolic of the union of two becoming one. For example, lighting each a candle and then bringing the candles together to light one in the middle together, or blending sand, a Native American symbol. Mexican weddings include a lassooing of the couple together, and other cultures share a goblet of wine for the blend of bitter and sweet. Jewish customs call for the breaking of the glass. All of these rituals are designed to illustrate the importance and significance of the commitment, and the fragility of the relationship if not cared for and nurtured. These rituals illustrate the complexity of the union and the work of the commitment moving forward and the willingness of each partner to work at the union for the rest of their lives, understanding the covenent of the union.

Pronouncement of the Union: The KISS!!! Seal the DEAL!! The moment everyone waits for is the kiss that consumates the commitment and the moment you become one! This is also where your officiant may proclaim the marriage -- whether you call it "husband and wife", "life partners," "true partners," "beloved friends," or just "married".

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